A Beginning that Seemingly Never Comes

If you do not know already I am an aspiring film maker. I have many ideas but very few creations. Its a very difficult thing for me to just get up and do what i love, its almost like i would rather just think or believe I'm making these great films that have yet to even become finalized plots. I once heard a man say "Film Making is a Terribly Colossal Heartbreak" and it is. You spend countless hours dreaming, imagining, conceptualizing an idea, writing a rough draft, writing a revised rough draft, Then you take your draft that when read reminds you of a 5 year old's Christmas list with all its misunderstandings, incomprehensible grammar, and misspellings. "Where did my story go?" You take this draft and begin to mold the the characters that you had met in your dreams only to realize that they are all the same with no depth or color in them. You begin to try to give them meaningful dialogue hoping it will give them the emotion and depth that you so desperately crave for your video. When going back over your amazing, gut wrenching, emotional dialogue you find it sounds no more different then an 8 year old girl telling a boy that she loves him. Its cute and you can hear the whole audience in a patronizing voice saying "aww isn't that so nice". Finally you finish your script, your master piece. You go on the search to find actors that can play your completely 1 dimensional characters hoping that they will hopefully bring some character into them. You look for locations and places you can film to create your film, sacrificing your vision for practicality. Almost as if for every step you take another piece of your vision dies. Once all the filming is done you move into your "post production" editing your video and compromising your vision once again because you software can't or won't do what you want. Finally you create your finished movie and send it off like a letter to Santa just hoping that through all the misunderstandings, holes, gapes, misrepresentations, and corny dialog  he will be able to understand what you are trying to say and see the dream that you had in the beginning. Film making is a terribly colossal heartbreak, BUT!! You begin to realize that through all the hiccups, faults, mistakes, and compromising YOU/I am learning how to be better. With each creation I learn more and more, and though i know these may sound like horrible things to go through just for one video. These are the struggles i am proud to go through, and i do not go through the struggles alone God is guiding me. Each step i take has been placed there by God for me to step on and though i may see all the steps of my dreams fall away all that means is that they were not steady or suitable to stand on. God has given and is giving me foundation to stand on.  One day I will create something spectacular! Not because i am amazing at film, but because God is helping me learn each day how to become better. It is not easy being a film make. Its worth it!

Basically everything i said but better.